Hey I’m Gemma, blogger at www.howtomakefriends.co.uk. I’m on a mission to cure loneliness amongst women and to empower you to build self-worth, spark up your social life and ultimately help you to make rewarding and real friends. A huge part of making new friends is detoxing old friends which is why Lisa has kindly let me put together this guest post for you.
When it comes to de-cluttering you may immediately head to your wardrobe, kitchen cupboards or the items hoarding in your car boot. As the bin bags fill up of items that bother you every day you get instant gratification and a feel good factor that you’ve done something productive and freshened up your life. But something less obvious, but just as important, is to regularly de-clutter your list of friends.
Friendships are constantly changing and if they no longer serve you as rewarding or real, it may be time to detox the person from your life. I get a lot of messages from ladies that cling on to ‘friends they’ve had for years’, ‘friends because our mums are friends’ or ‘she’s the girlfriend of my boyfriend’s best friend’, but all these people bring them is misery. You have the choice to do something about it.
Detoxing friends is a necessary part of life. Outgrowing friends is completely normal and shows you are moving and evolving as a person. Nobody is perfect and as with anything, friendships require compromises but if you think someone in your life may be serving as a ‘toxic friend’, detoxing them will bring you comfort, happiness and an instant release of pressure. Here are 5 easy ways to get rid of toxic friends so you can start to put energy into the right friendships and create space to make new friends.
5 easy ways to get rid of toxic friends
Commit to change
Getting rid of anyone from your life is hard. Ending friendships can feel worse than a breakup but they are absolutely necessary so that you don’t waste your time on the wrong people. Commit to making the change and no matter how hard it gets stay committed. Accept that there may be backlash, that you won’t feel good about yourself and that you will feel like you’ve made a terrible mistake (although you definitely haven’t!)
Some people are not necessarily toxic but leave you feeling exhausted, negative and dread spending time with them. The outgrown friendships I mentioned above don’t necessarily need a break-up they just need more space. If you feel like you have outgrown a friendship you don’t have to say anything, you can simply create more distance between you both and see them less frequently.
You don’t have to give anyone an explanation for a friendship breakup but if you are going to confront a toxic friend it is best to do it in public. This can be a good deterrent from arguments and to stop the conversation escalating into something nasty.
If the conversation does turn uncomfortable, don’t argue back. Toxic people love an argument and will do anything and everything to get you to argue with them. Stand by your beliefs but don’t argue.
Block toxic people from all of your social media pages. Nobody has time for keyboard warriors! You will be completely free of them this way and won’t have a constant reminder of them.
Friendships are an essential part of wellbeing and living a happy life. Don’t feel forced to be friends with people you no longer want to be friends with no matter what the circumstances are. Never forget friends should be your biggest cheerleaders, should love you for who you are and always leave you feeling positive.
For daily self motivation and friend inspiration follow me on Instagram at www.instagram.com/howtomakefriends